How to Become More Confident

Why Confidence Matters

According to the American Psychological Association, confidence refers to one’s trust in their abilities and a belief that they can meet the demands of a task. Confident people feel at ease around others, think positively, and feel comfortable in their skin. They embrace who they are and accept their strengths and weaknesses.

Conversely, those who struggle with confidence may avoid social situations or be afraid to try new activities. They may also quit when things get challenging and engage in negative self-talk.

If you’ve struggled with self-confidence, you aren’t alone. Fortunately, there are choices you can make to improve your mental health, trust in yourself more, and learn how to be more confident.

#1 Make a List of Your Positive Qualities

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, including you. Maybe you’re a great listener, have a creative eye, or are well organized. Sometimes, it’s difficult to know our strengths, but others around us surely notice these traits. If you’re unsure what they are, consider asking a close friend or family member. By focusing on your strengths and building upon those, you’ll also gain more confidence in other areas of your life.

#2 Acknowledge Your Achievements

Everyone goes through challenging times, but acknowledging your past achievements increases your confidence by reinforcing your self-worth. It also forms a positive feedback loop in your mind, motivating you to keep striving toward your goals.

Consider writing your achievements down on paper to give yourself a tangible sense of progress and help you see how far you’ve come.

#3 Set and Keep Realistic Goals

Achieving small milestones or goals is a great way to boost your self-esteem and provide a sense of accomplishment. However, keeping these goals within reach is important, as setting too lofty of a goal may have the opposite effect.

Setting smaller goals can keep you motivated and increase your confidence in your ability to reach the larger ones. After you achieve your goals, reward yourself.

#4 Keep the Commitments You Make

When you set and keep your commitments, like sticking to a new, healthy habit, you demonstrate your dependability and ability to follow through. What’s most important is keeping your commitments to yourself since they establish a vital aspect of your identity. You will feel more capable and self-assured by following through on your obligations.

#5 Prioritize Your Physical Health

There are many mental and physical benefits to regular exercise, including improved sense of well-being and a decrease in the severity of mental health conditions. Focusing on yourself and caring for your physical health enhances your self-esteem and promotes confidence.

Another way to care for your physical health is to prioritize your sleep. For the best sleep, aim for 7–9 hours of sleep a night. Also, try adopting good sleep habits like putting away your phone at least 30 minutes before bed and following a relaxing wind-down routine that includes things like meditation or yoga.

#6 Take Care of Your Mental Health

The condition of your mental health has a rippling effect on many areas of your life, including your self-esteem and confidence.

The first step in boosting mental health is to practice self-compassion. It’s also important to be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Remember, mistakes are a part of life, so don’t berate yourself over them.

Next, keep a journal and write down what you are grateful for. Being thankful for what you have can also improve your self-confidence and boost your overall mental well-being.

#7 Carry Yourself Confidently

Sometimes, you just have to “fake it ’til you make it.” Even if you don’t feel confident, try acting like you do. When you project confidence to others, they will likely believe you. Work on your posture and stand tall, even when you are afraid or nervous.

Another way to practice confidence is to write down affirmations about yourself. The more you write positive statements about yourself, the more you may begin to believe them, changing how you think and feel. Acting confident may help you become genuinely confident.

#8 Speak Positively to Yourself and Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Everyone struggles with negative thoughts occasionally. However, these thoughts are associated with depression and can erode your confidence. It’s important to challenge these automatic negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones whenever they creep in. An example of a negative automotive thought is, “I will never be able to do this” when faced with a challenging situation like putting together a piece of furniture.

The next time you catch yourself engaging in harmful self-talk, ask yourself if your statement is accurate. If it’s not, replace it with something more positive. An example replacement thought for the above negative one is “I will be able to put this together. It just might take some time, and I might have to ask for help.”

Stopping negative self-talk and changing unhelpful thoughts into more positive ones can strengthen self-confidence and diminish self-doubt.

#9 Don’t Be Afraid To Try Something New

Feeling scared or anxious when trying something for the first time is normal, but it’s also a great way to boost your confidence and possibly discover a new favorite activity. When you challenge yourself, you’ll believe more in your capabilities.

Give yourself time and space to grow and learn to be okay with making mistakes. Mistakes are all part of the learning process, and if you never make mistakes, you aren’t challenging yourself enough.

#10 Wear Outfits That Make You Feel Good

Wearing outfits that accentuate your body in colors you feel good in can help you carry yourself more confidently and boost your self-esteem. Not only do clothes play a role in how you feel, but feeling confident about your appearance may also affect your work performance and how you interact with others.

If you’re feeling low, skip the oversized sweaters and yoga pants and pick something out of your closet that makes you happy. Wearing outfits that make you feel great will lift your mood and deliver a nice dose of confidence.

#11 Help Others and Volunteer

Volunteering your time and giving back to your community activates a part of your brain responsible for happiness and “feel good” hormones. Helping others can promote joy and give you a sense of purpose, boosting your self-esteem, even in the face of adversity. It also enables you to become more confident in your capabilities to create positive change.

#12 Say Yes When You’re Invited Somewhere

When you’re not feeling very confident, the last thing you probably want to do is accept any invitations. However, you may want to reconsider declining. Accepting an invitation to go out with friends can lift your mood and boost your quality of life.

Humans are wired to be social, and when you’re around other people, they can help you forget about your troubles, at least for a little while.

What’s the Difference Between Being Confident and Cocky?

It’s easy to confuse confidence for cockiness, as people who display both are secure in who they are and have high self-esteem. However, the key difference is the ability to see oneself objectively.

When someone is confident, they are appropriately secure in their abilities. However, they are also open to collaboration and feedback so they can grow professionally and as a person.

On the other hand, someone who is cocky is overly confident and not open to any feedback. They may blame others for their mistakes and insist that their way of doing things is the only correct way.

Confidence: A Path to Empowerment

Confidence helps you feel capable of meeting life’s challenges. However, some people struggle with confidence and aren’t able to improve it on their own, often interfering with their daily life.

If you find it difficult to function due to a lack of self-confidence and have tried the above tips, it may be time to seek professional support. Using psychotherapy techniques, a therapist or counselor can help you uncover underlying issues that are affecting your self-confidence. They can also help you create positive coping mechanisms that will help build self-esteem, leading to a more confident, authentic you.