Couples Therapy

What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of talk therapy in which people in a romantic relationship work together with a therapist or counselor to address and work through any challenges they are experiencing.

As with other types of therapy, the purpose of couples therapy is to alleviate distress and improve overall functioning in life. A therapist will guide sessions that discuss your current relationship difficulties while utilizing scientifically validated methods to help you work through them.

With effort and intention from both partners, couples therapy can help improve your relationship with yourself and each other.

Types Of Couples Therapy

There are numerous types of couples therapy, but the most common include emotionally focused therapy, the Gottman method, cognitive behavioral therapy, and psychodynamic therapy.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT examines the attachment needs of each person and works to improve the bonding between the two people. In this type of therapy, the therapist helps clients understand and change behavioral patterns that have led to disconnection. This creates long-lasting relationship satisfaction and attachment changes.

According to a study in the Journal of Evidence-Based Social Work, couples who had 8–12 EFT sessions reported feeling less distress, having improved satisfaction with their relationship, and having long-lasting benefits, even 2 years after sessions stopped.

The Gottman Method

The Gottman method is a specific type of couples therapy that has been shown to improve relationships. It helps improve both verbal and nonverbal communication by teaching healthy forms of communication so that the couple can avoid criticism, defensiveness, contempt for one another, and stonewalling.

Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy

Cognitive behavioral couples therapy involves identifying ways of thinking that negatively impact behavior. It also focuses on positive behavioral changes and improving communication skills. The cognitive, affective, and behavioral components of therapy are utilized to address relationship problems. Cognitive behavioral couples therapy also works well when it is used alongside individual intervention.

Psychodynamic Couples Therapy

Psychodynamic couples therapy examines the hopes and worries that motivate each person so that they can learn to understand one another. It has been shown to decrease psychological distress for both partners. Improved relationship satisfaction and lowered distress are also seen.

What Couples Therapy Can Help With

Couples therapy is intended to support challenges and issues you may face in a relationship. Certain periods can be more likely to cause conflict and tension, and it can be particularly helpful during those times. For example, it can help during times of transition, such as:

• Moving in together
• Planning for marriage
• Expecting a baby
• Starting a new job
• Moving
• Going back to school

Therapy for couples can also help people work on resentful or distant feelings that can lead to changes in emotional connection and physical intimacy.

Participating in couples therapy can also help address:

• Relationships with in-laws
• Feelings of grief or loss
• Financial stress
• Stagnant feelings
• Complications that arise due to illness or substance abuse

If you are considering couples therapy, it may help to get a consultation from your healthcare provider to  determine whether it’s the right fit for you and your partner.

Benefits Of Couples Therapy

Couples therapy allows people to feel more in tune with themselves, which in turn allows them to connect more deeply with their partner. It can help with communication, forgiveness, problem-solving, and resolution of needs and feelings. It can increase security, playfulness, and spontaneity in a relationship. When two people feel more secure together, they will start being more adventurous and assertive.

Couples therapy helps people better understand each other and express their feelings, morals, and beliefs. This reduces distress and improves relationship satisfaction.

A therapist can help identify relationship issues with identity, trust, conflict with partners, and feelings of disconnection, and it can help figure out what is causing ongoing challenges. Other benefits include the following:

• Improved communication skills
• Resolution of conflicts
• Elimination of dysfunctional behavior
• Strengthening of friendship and bonding between partners

These benefits lead to increased satisfaction in relationships, which can also help improve intimacy.

Things To Consider Before Starting Couples Therapy

For couples therapy to work, both people need to participate. If your partner is unwilling, it is possible to discuss relationship issues in individual sessions to work toward improvement.

Partners may need their own individual therapy sessions to work on their issues. If you or your partner are experiencing other issues, such as anxiety or depression, your healthcare provider might recommend specialized treatment.

How To Get Started

If you think you might benefit from couples therapy, talk to your partner about it. If they are resistant to starting therapy, let them know that it is important to you and explain how it will improve your relationship. If they agree, it’s a good idea to reflect on your relationship beforehand so that you can come to the first session prepared to speak about your concerns openly.

The next step is finding the right therapist. Someone close to you might have someone to refer you to. Couples therapy is an option that can be provided by psychologists, clinical social workers, and other mental healthcare providers.

Things to consider when deciding to start therapy include:

• Picking out days and times that work for both partners
• Finding a convenient location or deciding on online therapy
• Checking if the provider takes your insurance plan

Ultimately, it’s important for each partner to feel comfortable expressing their genuine thoughts and feelings during the session.

What To Expect In A Session

In your first therapy session, you and your partner will likely be given forms to fill out regarding insurance and medical history.

As you begin, you might receive questionnaires from your therapist that serve to learn about your relationship, what challenges you are facing, and what you are looking to get out of therapy. During your session, your history will be discussed, and goals will be explored.

While couples therapy is relationship-focused, in the course of your counseling, your therapist may suggest that you and your partner meet individually with them.

Take The Next Step

If you are experiencing relationship difficulties that you want to address, couples therapy can be a great option. By working together in therapy, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship that can withstand any challenges that arise.